Hard Few Days...

Its been a hard few days!

We are so blessed by our bundle of joy! Isaac is full of life and yet very laid back. He is definitely as laid back if not more than Isabella. We are really enjoying getting to know our new gift!

Monday 11:00 AM

We have had some tough news over the past few days though. My mom came in town to help with Carla and the new baby, which has been a HUGE blessing! Thanks mom! She even brought her own house (motorhome). We asked a friend to come over to help set it up so it could be wired into our house direct. He did that and also hooked up the sewage as well, so that she wouldn't have to dump it every few days! (Thanks Jonathan Banano!)

But, in the process he found out that ALL of the pipes under our house (Toilet, sinks, tub) are leaking directly under the house! He dug a little further and found that there was NO outflow at all going to the septic. It is completely flooded under the house and there is a severe sewage smell coming from under the house. Basically we are sitting on top of a out door sewage plant!!! He tried to fix, but was at a complete loss of what to do!

Unfortunately, as most of you know, we are living completely on Faith with our finances. With that said, we don't have the resources to have someone come out to fix it. It sounds like this is a MAJOR cost and we are doing everything we can to get someone out to come and look at it. We have a couple of people who have said they may be able to come by this week to examine, but there isn't anyone who we have found yet who can actually fix this week!

4:30PM

Carla calls from the hospital and says that they are going to release her and the baby from the hospital. We were excited except that we had just found out that we are not living in a safe or sanitary environment!

It gets better... I had sent my dad up to the hospital with the infant car seat. I didn't think to check it before it left, but apparently the seat belt harnesses had been removed to be cleaned (you know where this is going). When they got ready to release Carla and baby from the hospital I was at home with my left foot bleeding from the chaos from the morning discovery and my father in law had left to go to the store to pick up something to fix the air conditioner in the house (which was also not working properly).

Carla calls and lets me know that they won't let her or the baby leave the hospital because the Car seat doesn't have any seat belts. So, I get on the phone calling around frantically to try to get someone who can go buy a car seat and pick up my wife and new baby! Thankfully my dear friend Derrick Gill comes to the rescue and was able to get over there in about 25 minutes! Whew!

Then Tuesday...

I had a follow up doctor appointment with my surgeon who did my ankle surgery. He had to do x-rays of everything including my ankle to see how everything is doing.

I have been having quite a bit of pain with the front part of my left foot (bleeding, swelling,burning, etc). He was always confused when I would explain this because this is not the part heoperated on and he thought I was just having some weird pain radiating from the surgery on the heal. Well, he was wrong! Apparently it has been bleeding and now the front part of my foot has had hemophiliac arthritis set it and start deteriorating that area of the foot.

He then did a follow up x-ray on my right elbow and found that my arm bone going from my shoulder to my elbow joint has eaten a hole through the bottom of my elbow joint and the bone in gone through the joint! He explained that this has never happened to his knowledge and that he would report this to medical community as a new phenomenon! Of course I would once again be the pioneer or "guinea pig"

I have to walk on crutches to get into our bathroom due to the fact that it is not handicap accessible! This, over the past three months or so, has caused my left wrist to start bleeding again. So it has been difficult over the past few weeks to transfer from the couch to the wheelchair, from the wheelchair to the bed, and very painful to walk on crutches. He did x-rays on that as well and found that it has started the deterioration process. Fun!

Wednesday

We woke up this morning and were reminded that His Mercy is new this morning! (Lamentations 3:22-23)

We were also reminded that "The Lord IS MY portion... therefore I hope in Him!" (Lam 3:24)

Psalms 40:

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;

And He inclined to me and heard my cry.2 He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear
And will trust in the LORD.4 How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust,
And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.5 Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done,
And Your thoughts toward us;
There is none to compare with You.
If I would declare and speak of them,
They would be too numerous to count.
11 You, O LORD, will not withhold Your compassion from me;
Your lovingkindness and Your truth will continually preserve me.
17 Since I am afflicted and needy,
Let the Lord be mindful of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Do not delay, O my God.
I am not sure how we are going to pay for having our house fixed! I don't know how I am going to be able to provide for my family! I am uncertain on how God is going to provide for my physical deterioration and downturn! I am not sure how we are going to navigate the rough waters ahead... BUT, I do know that God is with us! We have chosen to "HOPE IN HIM"!
Please pray for us that God would pour out his abundant grace on us, that He would supply all of our needs according to His supply, not ours? Please pray that He would send help quickly? We are completely trusting in Him!
If you are able to help us financially, you can send a tax deductible contribution to PO BOX 2584, Mandeville, LA 70470, to "Hope for Hemophilia".
Thank you for standing with us, praying for us, and giving to us! Your support spiritually, emotionally, and tangibly has reminded us that we are not alone!
We love you all!

Where Does It Stop?

I know my amazing husband will have a greater perspective to share soon, but tonight, for me the world is bittersweet as a dear friend so appropriately put. Today we have a beautiful, healthy, new baby boy and are experiencing one of the greatest joys God could ever give. There are no words to describe what it's like. But today I feel the sorrow for my husband of watching his body "come apart" We got a really tough report from Jonathan's surgeon today. The front of his foot is continuously bleeding and has now begun deteriorating, his elbow which we have been praying for, for some time now, has a hole through it and he fears losing that arm all together and his one good wrist has developed arthritis as well due to the hemophilia.... Overwhelming to say the least, but even more, for me heartbreaking to watch the love of my life suffer. We have seen such a sudden developement of rapid deterioration in his body since January. It's been so mind boggling. We have fought it, we have prayed, we have cried and tonight.... I just want to know when it will stop. To watch the strength of a man be so tested and to watch him fight to see the joy of life in it all changes me daily.... I am ruined for the ordinary mindset and yet my heart breaks. As always, we covet your friendship and your seeking of God's hand and heart in it all......

New Addition to the James Home...

Today was a glorious day, where we welcomed our newest addition to our family!

Isaac Benjamin James was born around 7:45 AM this morning at 9lbs, 10oz, and 19in long. He is perfectly healthy little man! He is very quite, for an infant, very peaceful and we are already enjoying him!

Carla...

Carla had a lengthy surgery as there were complications related to her ongoing issues. The doctor did as much as he could do to fix her up and by the time it was over, he had done about three or four surgeries in one! It was quite amazing! Needless to say, Today our family is complete!

She is doing better and recovering well. She is at St Tammany Hospital in room 344 and will be there until Tuesday.

Thank you so much for your prayers!!! Please keep them up, we still have a tough number of months ahead of us! But, we are believing for increased strength and supernatural provision!

God's Grace is sufficient! (2Cor 12:9)

While the doctor was trying to deliver Isaac, he discovered that she was at a "significantly" higher risk of uterine rupture! He was caught off guard by this as were we. In a lot of cases, if a woman's uterus ruptures during advanced stages in pregnancy she may have as little as 4 minutes to save both the mother and the baby's life. IF that had happened, I could not have loaded her up in the car, and driven her to the hospital in time, given my current state. We also would not have had time to call someone to pick her up, either friend or ambulance. We could have lost both Carla and baby! BUT GOD...

I think it is amazing how God so often protects us from danger that we are not even aware of! God saved us from something so tragic today, and yet we were not even aware that it was near (neither were the experts).

It also makes me very aware of how often our current state or circumstance is all consuming and when it is a very difficult circumstance we often ask things like "Could things ever get worse...?". If you know our situation (if not you can read older posts in this blog and get a good idea of what we are going through), you could look at it as "That is such an extreme place... How could you possibly go through that". But no matter what the circumstance, Hard is hard! Whatever the circumstance. I think it can be easy for us all, when we are going through stuff, to look at our circumstances and say that. But I wonder, what if we are asking the wrong question?

What if we asked "What is it that God is keeping me from today?" or "What is it that God is working on my behalf on today?"

Be Thankful in all things... (1Th 5:18)

When James said "Count it all joy when you fall into various trials..." in James chapter 1, could it be that he was speaking from the perspective "What is God protecting you from"? If you go back and read all of Chapter 1 of James with the idea that James may have been speaking from that experience and perspective, it puts a whole new light to WHY he may have said things like "be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath..." (James 1:19), or "Count it all joy when you fall into various trials..." (1:2).

Why be thankful IN the middle of all things? I believe one reason is because of things like what we experienced today. You never know what God is working on, on your behalf! You don't know what He is protecting you from! Read Ps 5:11. Apparently all those who put their trust in him... He defends! WOW!

Its hard to trust what you don't see if you are bitter and have a bad attitude about what is in front of you. Its hard to trust when the biggest concern of your mind is "Why me?" or "Why won't you...?"

Today...

Today, there is nothing to complain about. I could give you a list of things that were not ideal today. BUT, what I learned about what God protected us from over the past months... trumped it all! My only response to that knowledge was to worship, thank the Lord (sincerely), and be humbled by His sufficiency!

I'm not sure I've walked out the past 6 months without complaining or with having the best attitude, but I know that during the next six months I will be more grateful and mindful, not of what God is doing on my behalf, but simply that He IS doing something on my behalf. That He is defending me, while I trust Him, even if I can't see what's going on around me!

Just because I was unable to see the baby being formed in Carla's tummy, doesn't mean that a wonderful life is being masterfully created right under my nose... I simply have to wait to hold it, to enjoy it, and to reap it when the time is right!

Thank you for helping us and growing with us!!!

We love you all!

You may send tax deductible donations to:

"Hope for Hemophilia"

PO Box 2584

Mandeville, LA 70470

Or make a deposit at any

Capital One Bank

acct # 2081669328

June Health Update...

June is already here! Wow!

God has been good, as always! We have been amazed, encouraged, exhausted, loved, helped, hurt, hindered, and lifted up!

Physical healing can be a circus...

Its always amazing to see how God works. Over the past month we have had some of the most difficult days yet, and somehow there has been grace to meet us there. About three weeks ago, I fell on my foot that I just had surgery on. After the pretty intense pain subsided, I didn't think much of it, other than hoping I didn't do any permanent damage. A few days later we realized that another hematoma had formed on the front part of my foot. This was somewhat discouraging as part of the delay in my ability to walk has been a hematoma on my heel that wouldn't go away. My doctor has not been willing to allow me to walk until it had completely absorbed. Unfortunately the first one still has not absorbed and now I have another one... What next?

Well, yesterday we decided that we were going to go out for lunch. You have to understand that is a very big undertaking in our world at the moment. I still can't drive or have my foot un-elevated and Carla, at 9 months pregnant, has to load and unload me and the wheelchair. But we were determined... cabin fever and all! On my way to get the one shoe I can actually wear and with my 16 month old, Isabella in my lap, my left foot (surgery foot) got caught between the wheelchair and my dresser. Ouch... Needless to say, we didn't get out yesterday. My ankle swelled up to about the size of a softball and I was in pretty severe pain for the rest of the day. Maybe we should start a reality show....

Dreams Fulfilled...

I think the most frustrating part for me is that I was hoping to be at least in a walking cast by now and taking some baby steps. Proverbs 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."

So, that covers the "Hope deferred.." part, but here is the "tree of life..." part.

"When desire comes..."

Most of you are aware that Carla and I have written music for many years and it has been a deep, deep desire in our heart to share our songs and minister. It has been a dream of mine for more than 10 years to record an album and distribute our music. We have believed that most of the music God has given us would be an encouragement and truly minister to those who would listen. Last year God spoke to us about getting our music together and to start recording a CD. We went to the studio of a close friend and started out of obedience. We were able to get my guitar parts and some vocals down. However, I started having problems with my elbow even then and had to take about an hour break in between each song. At that time I had no idea what was to come. I got a band of amazing guys together and started rehearsing the music to finish the project. We had one rehearsal, with four more to follow before getting into the studio. That was the second week in December. We took a break for Christmas and New years.

The week after new years, I had a severe bleed in my chest cavity and ended up in the hospital and have been in and out of the hospital ever since. I have had ankle surgery that I am still recovering from, and my elbow has accelerated in deterioration to the point of my being in danger of losing it. We had no idea that we would not be able to get back into the studio to complete the CD project. My prayer since then has been "Lord, I don't know why you told me to begin this CD, but if that's as far as it goes I am grateful You have taught me obedience."

That's just the beginning! Pastor Aaron came over to our house about 4 weeks ago and shared that he felt like God had put our music and completing our album on his heart. He felt like God had shown him it could be a way to raise money for us! I explained to him how I would love to see that happen, but I wasn't in a state to even get into the studio much less coordinate rehearsals, and/or all of the other administrative stuff it takes to get such a project completed. He said in his very loving way, "That's not what I'm asking. I am simply asking if you mind if I pursue it?". I said, "If you have the faith for that, run with it, but I just don't at this time!" He said, "That's okay, let me see what I can do".

He called back the next day and said he had found a producer who was willing to take it on for a severely discounted rate due to our situation. I laughed when he told me how much it was going to cost. "Discounted or not", I said, "I'm not sure how I'm going to pay our house note right now, much less pay for a CD." He said in his very passionate, loving way, "That's okay. I have the faith for it. I believe this is a God thing. All I'm asking is, are you okay with it?". Once again I just had to laugh. I told him that I loved the idea, and I couldn't have asked for someone better to try to care for and run with my dream!

Later that week he called back and said, "I think we've got it all worked out." He wanted me to call the producer, who I had never heard of before, but I spoke with him and found a bio on him and was blown away! He has worked on everything from American Idol projects to television shows and most recently, Dove award winning CCM artists like Brandon Heath. Once I got to know who this was, I couldn't believe what was taking place.

I was so humbled by what God was doing! I felt like God was saying "You (Jonathan) just wait right there. Let me run with this dream that I put in your heart to begin with, and let me see to it that it is fulfilled." I also felt like the Lord was reminding me that because this dream was His first, it was MORE important to Him that it was fulfilled, than it was even to me. That was a little hard to understand, since I've wanted it so bad in the past.

It is just like God to wait until I am completely unable to do anything in my own strength - literally - to fulfill the dream He started so long ago. This way ONLY He can be glorified! He is truly the Alpha AND the Omega! He is the Starter and the Finisher! We so often get frustrated with the "in-between" and yet that is the exact place where we were intended to be. We get so frustrated with the unknown, and yet that is where we are most dependant. We are so wrapped up in trying to determine when and how we are going to "pull off" this dream that is in our heart, when God fills us in on the dream simply to keep us in the loop, not for us to control it! He is simply letting us know hints of what He is doing.

What if we were able to just listen without assumption or expectation? What if we were able to obey without trying to lead God, but let Him truly lead us? I think we would have more joy, more peace, more trust, and less anxiety, less fear, and less disappointment! That sure wouldn't be bad. Even medical studies have shown that if we were to live like that we would live longer, more fulfilled lives. My obedience to begin recording months ago without any idea how it would all come together, ended up being the bones and foundation of what will be used to now complete the project.

Needless to say we are excited and yet still unable to do anything about it really! Funny place to be in! The CD won't be completed and available for purchase until later this year but we are very excited.

The start of a bigger vision...

In the process of all of this Sal Lee and some other friends got together and started a Foundation for our benefit. They established this as a way to help raise money for our family during this time of paying bills without income. We have been blown away by the generosity of their time and effort! It took quite a bit to get it all set up, but it is now in place.

The name of the Foundation is "Hope for Hemophilia" and if you would like to help, you can send a tax-deductible donation to "Hope for Hemophilia" at P.O. Box 2584, Mandeville, LA 70470. If you have questions or concerns you may contact Sal Lee directly at lee.salvador@gmail.com or 504.296.4800. He is more than willing to get you any documentation or information you may have questions about.

We are also very excited about this as one of our dreams is to be able to raise enough money over time to be able to help other people who suffer from hemophilia, and their families with financial support for surgeries and through their recoveries. We so desire to bring as much hope as we have been given. Our vision for this is huge - pretty lofty goals being that we haven't even accepted the first penny yet! Our dreams are big and our God is able!

Where we are and what comes next...

Carla says she is 10 months pregnant, but we are on the home stretch now! She is having the baby come rain or shine next week on June 12th! We are very excited! Carla will be at St Tammany Parish hospital for five days recovering from surgery with the baby. After that she will be on limited bed rest for a time, then on with the road to recovery for both of us!

We have been so blessed by all of you who have been so faithful to bring meals, to help with housework, to love on our kids and so much more! It has been wonderful to get to know many of you for the first time and others just to have your bright faces here to encourage us so frequently! We have been blessed beyond measure and are so grateful for your help and support!

Please continue to pray for us! We need extra grace for Carla during these next few weeks. Please pray for our kids, too. I believe they have been able to handle all of this so well and I am so very proud of them! However, I see the wear and tear on them too! Our prayer for them has been that they would have much stability and security even though they are with so many different people and places.

We would like to address a question many of you have asked. "Have you considered seeking financial help from the government for people with disabilities? Why not just go on social security disability?" Great question. It is one we have thought through, prayed about, researched and even attempted to apply for. In order for me to be accepted for government programs, I would have to quit my job first. Due to the absolute necessity of treatment for my illness, I have to be a part of a really great group health insurance policy which can only be obtained through the employment of large companies. I cannot go a single day without treatment. In addition, it is currently taking a minimum of three months (often longer) to be considered for approval for these government programs and many very needing families have been turned down. Even though our circumstances are extreme right now, we do anticipate much more normalcy in the future. We hope this brings a little bit more clarity.

Please continue to pray for financial resources for us! God has miraculously sustained us during this time and we have been so overwhelmed by your support! We are truly humbled at how many people God has used in this area from so many different places that we never expected! We are going to have some extra expenses with the baby being born in almost every area of our budget. If you would like to help financially and would like a tax deduction, you can call Sal Lee at 504.296.4800 or make a deposit to the Hope for Hemophilia Foundation at any Chase Bank or Edward Jones location. If you would like to or are able to make a monthly commitment for this season, they are able set up a ACH draft for you.

I am a firm believer in finishing what you begin. Six years ago, I opened an Edward Jones Financial Investment office. My doctor has agreed to allow me to work a couple of hours per week from home as I can. This is my next pursuit. Having a business that requires face to face contact on a regular basis is definitely complicated by my situation, but I am determined to be faithful even where I am at. I work strictly on commission. While I do not receive any income unless I am actively pouring myself into my business, it is in my heart to be faithful in sustaining what is in my hand and in being available to clients.

If you have read this far in, you know by now this has been a fairly long update, but it is only a fraction of what God is doing in our heart. I believe much of what God will do in us, and through us over the next 25 years, will be greatly affected by what we have lived out with you in these past months. Even though we have gone through great pain and discomfort, there has been a sense of great destiny. So what that means, I don't fully know. But I do know that the experiences that God has allowed us to have will be used to be a resource to lead others. Our hope is that though these months, weeks, days, and moments have been uncomfortable and downright painful, that God will use every last drop of it for His purpose!

Our prayer is that God's glory truly be revealed in our weakness! One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 23:4 "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me...". The point wasn't that he walked through the valley of the shadow of death or that he wasn't afraid, rather that God was with him! When all is said and done, our hope is that when everyone looks at our circumstance people can say just that. "Even though they have been through so much, God is clearly with them!"

We love you all!